My heart seems to be settling in the dust of my previous relationship. It's been over two months but I still want to rip out my hair, rip out my eyes and scratch my skin till I bleed when I think about it. It was so sad. The destruction that I caused is only becoming clear to me now. I feel that the most intimidating thing is that I don't know if this is what I intended to do? There is a part of me that says yes and a part of me that says no, isn't there always. Let's meet again in the middle of the farmers market, let's go sit on the hill and overlook the city, let's see how far we can climb up this time...before slowly slipping again. Before realising that neither of us has changed. Before missing our blood bank appointment. We both knew there was only two ways to end this dance and we might never know how it would've been.